A dramatic Shakespearean response to every situation
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When something bad happens:
True is it that we have seen better days.
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When something REALLY bad happens:
O woe! O woeful, woeful, woeful day! Most lamentable day. Most woeful day That ever, ever I did yet behold! O day, O day, O day! O hateful day! Never was seen so black a day as this.O woeful day! O woeful day!
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When people say that something is wrong because the Bible says so:
The Devil can cite scripture for his purpose.
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When my girlfriend abandons me for food:
FRAILTY, THY NAME IS WOMAN!
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When someone doesn't thank me for holding the door open for them:
BLOW, BLOW, BLOW, THOU WINTER WIND! THOU ART NOT SO UNKIND AS MAN'S INGRATITUDE!
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When I burn something while cooking:
MY CAKE IS DOUGH!
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When human stupidity frustrates me:
LORD, WHAT FOOLS THESE MORTALS BE!
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When someone says I'm going to hell for my sins:
NYMPH, IN THY ORISONS BE ALL MY SINS REMEMBER'D.
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When I'm broke:
My pride fell with my fortunes
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When someone turns the light on after a period of darkness and blinding light ensues:
OH, SHE DOTH TEACH THE TORCHES TO BURN BRIGHT!
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When someone disagrees with me:
THERE ARE MORE THINGS IN HEAVEN AND EARTH, HORATIO, THAN ARE DREAMT OF IN YOUR PHILOSOPHY.
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When I argue with my girlfriend:
The course of true love never did run smooth.
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When I'm embarrassed:
MUST I HOLD A CANDLE TO MY SHAMES?!
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Someone says "Good Night":
Good Night, Good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be morrow.
lamala:
peaceblaster:
“Before our white brothers arrived to make us civilized men, we didn’t have any kind of prison. Because of this, we had no delinquents. Without a prison, there can be no delinquents. We had no locks nor keys and therefore among us there were no thieves.When someone was so poor that he couldn’t afford a horse, a tent or a blanket, he would, in that case, receive it all as a gift. We were too uncivilized to give great importance to private property. We didn’t know any kind of money and consequently, the value of a human being was not determined by his wealth. We had no written laws laid down, no lawyers, no politicians, therefore we were not able to cheat and swindle one another.We were really in bad shape before the white men arrived and I don’t know how to explain how we were able to manage without these fundamental things that (so they tell us) are so necessary for a civilized society.” — John (Fire) Lame Deer, Sioux Lakota, 1903-1976.
Forever reblog.
The ‘White Man’s’ burden.
(Source: girlinboyclothes)